Spelunky is described by its creator as "La-Mulana meets Nethack": a horribly addictive mix of unforgiving yet compelling platforming action. It's been covered by many other places, so all I'm going to say is that if you've got Windows, you want to download this right now.

So instead of reviewing the game, I'm going to tell you how to kill the shopkeepers.

Why would I want to do that?

Shopkeepers are a rich source of vitamin JACKPOT:

1. They carry a shotgun, arguably the best weapon in the game. That alone is usually enough to kill anything.
2. You can ransack their store, which often holds rare items. Sometimes they're good enough to win the game with.
3. Having the shotgun puts you in a good position to kill other shopkeepers and rob them too, multiplying your profits.
4. It's quite easy to pull off consistently.
5. You're like me and like a challenge.
6. You're like me, got killed by a shopkeeper in the last game and want revenge.

Why wouldn't I want to do this?

Well...

1. If you screw it up, the shopkeeper will shoot you with the shotgun, arguably the best weapon in the game. That alone is usually enough to kill you.
2. All future shopkeepers will shoot you on sight. Don't expect to buy anything for this run ever again.
3. The shopkeeper has a lot of health, is very fast and is quite accurate with the shotgun.
4. The game is made up of 4 areas, each with 4 levels. Killing a shopkeeper in an area will usually place one at the level exit of the remaining levels of the area.
5. A dark level with an angry shopkeeper is almost a guaranteed death sentence.
6. You're a wuss.

Where can I find shopkeepers?

Uh, in a shop? :)

I'm kidding. There are 4 areas in the game, each of which having 4 levels. Shops are most often found in the first area.

If you've killed a shopkeeper in an area, the exits of the levels in the rest of that area will usually have an angry shopkeeper ready to kill you.

There's also one special place which has lots of shops, and therefore lots of shopkeepers. You have been warned.

How do I do it?

Method 1: If a store is selling the shotgun, just pick it up and shoot the shopkeeper in the face. Easiest method, but it's not always an option.

Method 2: If a store is selling a webcannon (it's a blue gun that shoots webs), pick it up, shoot the shopkeeper with it and quickly jump to dodge his return fire. Land on his head repeatedly, and he'll drop his precious shotgun, plus money. Almost as easy as killing him with the shotgun.

Method 3: If there is some ground in front of the store floor and you have one bomb, you can effectively "grenade" the shopkeeper. Stand on the ground just beyond the shop floor. Press C to pull out a bomb. Press X to arm it. When it starts blinking fast, wait for a split second, and throw the bomb into the store from your position. It will bounce against the bottom of the store sign. Jump to avoid the shopkeeper's gun blast. He should be hit by the explosion. If the above two options can't be taken, I'll do this.

Method 4: If the shop floor is one tile thick, you can bomb the shopkeeper from below. With sticky bombs, just throw it directly beneath the shopkeeper and brace for awesome. Without sticky bombs, you'll need a platform, but the result is nearly the same. Sometimes the shopkeeper will survive the blast, in which case, my condolences.

Method 5: If there's a first-area idol trap on the same level as a shop, the big boulder can sometimes be rolled into a shop, thus killing the shopkeeper. Pick up the idol, go towards the shop and take a safe perch. You'll need to be in view of the shopkeeper when he gets flattened for him to drop the shotgun, so keep that in mind.

What about future shopkeepers?

If you see a shop in the future, STOP! Without letting the whole shop into the screen, fire your newly acquired shotgun into the shop several times. You need to do it more than once, since the shopkeeper has a lot of health. Note that it only works when the shopkeeper is in a clear line-of-sight from the store entrance: it won't work for the Craps Parlour or the Kissing Booth. Best you avoid those.

Shopkeepers at the level exits can be tricky or trivial, depending on the terrain. If you approach them from the side, shoot your shotgun several times before you engage it. The game doesn't register time outside of the viewable screen, so the shopkeeper may be frozen in the air out of view, giving you a chance to fire a wall of hot lead ahead of you.

If you approach him from above, you can sometimes jump on his head. This will knock him out for a split second (a lot faster than most enemies, so beware), and also knock his shotgun from his hands. You can use the time to shoot him or take the exit. You can be shot while the exit animation plays (in fact, it's the only way to get hurt like that), so watch out.

Bombs work. A few well-placed bombs will carve the terrain in your favour, or get the shopkeeper caught in the blast. This is easier to do with normal bombs than sticky ones.

Conclusion

Killing shopkeepers is a good enough reason for me to keep coming back to this game. Of the 140-odd games that I've played, I've won 6, and each time I'd done some misdeed or another against a shopkeeper. For fun and profit.

Happy Spelunkying!

P.S.: No, this doesn't work under Wine. Yet.